After a while…
Living alone is not so bad.
Technically, I don’t have my own apartment, but I’ve been home by myself for a few months and it doesn’t feel bad.
At first, it did. I felt so lonely and sad. But then, there is a moment in time where you begin to accept it and slowly begin to enjoy it. One begins to create a routine or a lifestyle catered to single living and it’s pretty alright.
I have learned to keep myself occupied and am open to plans, not feel obligated to go out because I was being driven up the wall by family. I enjoy the silence (for the most part when the neighbors aren’t acting up), doing things when I want, how I want, not deal with background noise, or constant bickering.
I have paid the bills, earlier than usual, I still have funds to do what I want if I want to…it doesn’t feel bad. Now, I know its a different story once a person actually moves out and acquires their own place, own bills, own issues but this gives me hope that I can do this on my own in the near future.
I actually get excited yet slightly terrified at the idea. It’s fun to imagine what kind of apartment one would have, how they would decorate it, how to make it their own but the fear of messing up, losing my job (unfortunate reality during these times), not making payments on time can derail that lifestyle you built for yourself.
So for now, I will just enjoy this moment and revisit this idea come late spring to see how strongly I feel about venturing onto my own and seeing if the conditions are right.