March 2010
20 posts
I
Break. Suffocate. Isolate. Within. So many things. coursing. overwhelming. stressing. me, everyday. Its hard to remember when I was. Stable. Happy. Fine. Maybe a year ago was the last time. moment. good ground. Now. Just yearning. searching. wanting. looking for. Funds. Amor. Familia. Independence. Stability. But I see now. Its Not Easy. Best answer to that right now is. I suppose. Be Busy. Be as...
Growing Tired.
Its been two months since I’ve turned 24. Though I have done the things Ive needed to do, I still feel like its not enough. I am not where I want to be. I’m growing tired of how things have become. Though some things are external and not under my control. Some things are. I’ve grown tired of solitude. poverty. anguish. pestilence.
I am accepting and adapting some of the facts...
Let's see.
Its weird, but Im finding myself starting to feel again. Actually missing someone specific, having that feeling of interest and want. I didnt think I would go through this. I mean, Ive liked people since E and I broke up, but not as much as I do now with this girl. I really like her and would like to spend time with her. I cant believe I even get a jealous. I actually want to see where it goes....
“Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you...”
– Conan O’Brien (via laaalee)
Conan has never spoken truer.
I Believe. →
I Believe… That just because two people argue, It doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, It doesn’t mean they do love each other. I Believe… That we don’t have to change friends if We understand that friends change. I Believe…. That no matter…
Refuge.
That is what I seek right now. My desire for work is not only for financial stability but for self-progression and independence. I can no longer stand being with my parents. As time passes, it occurs to me that maybe, this life is meant to live alone.
(Even though it is against human nature to be alone, because the majority of people always are in search of someone for companionship or what...
Forward Motion.
So I am currently enrolled in a Job Readiness Program on 96th street seeking help with my job search as well as to improve my interviewing and job skills. So far, its been good. Its only the first week, but its looking positive. The only way to go is up with it, right? I just hope that it really helps me refine myself a bit better, but I feel like I am doing really good with it. =]
Changes.
So I have been set to make some undesirable yet necessary changes to my lifestyle due to some financial struggles that I have been having. The first being the detachment of the car I use (My father’s) which I have named Maria De Oro, since the insurance is too much for me to handle. So March will be my last month before, I pass her back to my father and to see what he decides her fate to be....
Temporarily Derailed.
I need to get back on some sort of track. This lack of forward motion shit isn’t working for me. I got to wake the fuck up and get things moving. Self-motivate.Yes! That is it!
Work is something I need right now to attain some financial stability. A job will keep me occupied mentally and with my time, hopefully 40 hrs a week. I have to start saving up for the sake of my sanity. I can not...
Why didn't I just...
wait 5 minutes to go to the bathroom…or go to the upstairs bathroom…. Nope. I had to use the bathroom at the same exact time when my eyes almost caught the travesty that had already occurred seconds before my arrival. But I had known what had transpired. It seems like I never seem to catch a damn break this week…first the ticket, then the car insurance…then catching someone...
Sir, can you pull over?
I am sooo bummed right now…I can’t believe I got my first traffic ticket today while doing a favor for an old lady because my mom said it was okay. She’s the parent so I didnt oppose her cause we were helping an old lady get to her son’s house in Astoria from JFK, when I went to pick up my mom. I made a left turn on Broadway underneath the train during a time that left...
